Trying Something New
by carcar2110
Summary: Kurt and Finn have an evening together... Alone. But unfortunately, Finn's a little inexperienced in that department, and it doesn't bode well for Kurt. Kurt/Finn, slash, smut. Written for Glee Kink on LJ.


**Title: Trying Something New****  
****Word Count: 8424  
****Rating: M**  
**Summary:**** Kurt and Finn have an evening together... Alone. But unfortunately, Finn's a little inexperienced in that department, and it doesn't bode well for Kurt. Kurt/Finn, slash, smut. Written for Glee Kink on LJ.  
****Spoilers: Uh... Not sure if there are any, really. But to be safe, don't read if you haven't seen up to Hell-O. Yeeeah.**  
**Warnings: Swearing, sex, blood, etc.**

**A/N: So. Haven't been on here for a while, have I? :P Gosh, I've been so busy with everything recently - what with theatre productions, finals, second half of Glee, and my computer crashing - that I just haven't been able to write. And all those things are also the reason that this story took me 9+ WEEKS TO FINISH. Yeah. I am eternally sorry to the person who wrote the prompt that spawned this story - You've been so patient, and I've taken my sweet time writing this thing. I am so sorry about that, and I really hope this was worth the wait.**

**This story was written for a prompt on the Glee Kink community on LJ. Seems like I'm not the only person to fill this prompt (there was another story written for this prompt posted earlier this week by Bdoing, so check that one out as well :D), but whatever - still gonna post it anyways :P Also, I would like to tell you all that this is my first ever smut story that I've written to completion, so sorry for the absolute suckiness due to that. :P**

**Anyways, the prompt was this:**

**finn/kurt  
awkward first time sex. Finn is too eager and hurts or scares Kurt.  
Bonus points if Finn doesn't notice at first that Kurt's not really having a good time.  
i'm looking for smutty hurt comfort fic, I guess. **

**Hope that this lives up to the prompt! :D**

**EDIT: Because my fanfiction site skills are somewhat lacking, a sure sign of how long it's been since I've been on here, I forgot to hit the save button when I had done my thankings. So they are now going here. :P A HUUUUGE thank-you-for-saving-my-ass-and-sanity-over-these-past-9-weeks mention goes to my dear friend, Alex R. Collins (Who happened to be my very first reviewer as well :P), because if it wasn't for you, I would have bounced off about five projects away from this and would never have stuck to it til the end. Plus, you helped me write numerous scenes in here, and for that, I will always be grateful. Thank you so much. (And maybe I'll write that Faberry story for you someday. ;D) Another HUGE thank-you of epic proportions goes out to my good friend Draco_Zelda, who has helped me in more ways than I can count during the writing of this. They also get to take credit for one of the lines later on in the story (you know which one. :P), and if it wasn't for them, this story would not be finished. THANK YOU, KIND STRANGER. :P Also, major thanks go to everyone on the Glee RP site (you guys know who you are... :P), specifically "Mercedes", "Finn", "Puck", "Santana", "Jacob" (now you've been mentioned TWICE, my friend :P) and "Andrea". You guys were there when this story finished, and I thank you all for putting up with me going "OMG HOLY SHIT IT'S DONE SDJFKDJSKJDS" in the chat for the hour directly following this story's completion. So thank you guys :D**

**Anyways, enough sentimentality! Story time!**

Kurt stood in the middle of his room, scouring every last inch of it. The room, to anyone else, would have looked practically spotless, but in Kurt's opinion, it most definitely wasn't. He walked over to his desk, straightening out a few items he thought to be out of place with shaking hands. He moved over to the bed, smoothing out the covers and rearranging the pillows, and then rearranging them again for a second time. He sat down on the edge of the bed, picking nervously at the stitching on the blanket underneath him. He checked the alarm clock on his bedside table – ten minutes to seven. He inhaled deeply, trying to calm his rampant nerves. Finn had told him he would be over at around seven, and as that time approached, so did the extreme feelings of fear that Kurt had been feeling increasingly over the last hour.

It had gone unspoken between the two but each knew what the night held for them. Plans had been made meticulously to ensure privacy, to make the night go off with as few problems as possible. Kurt had made sure that he invited Finn over on a night when his father would be out late. He had acquired all the items necessary for the act – and getting those past his father had been an adventure in , of course, wanting to know exactly what to expect, he had tried to learn as much about the subject as he could beforehand, which had led to more than a few nights sat in front of his MacBook with Google open – a lack of reliable porn sites causing it to be his only option.

As Kurt sat on his neatly made bed, his eyes were drawn to the time once more. 6:53. Unable to sit still any longer he went upstairs to the kitchen. With his nerves on edge the way they were, he needed a good cup of tea. Hand shaking, he sat nervously at the table waiting for the water to boil. Knowing exactly why he was so nervous didn't make it any less annoying that he felt so out of control.

With a soft click, the water was done. Kurt grabbed a mug and a teabag out of the cupboard he managed to distract himself for a few moments in the simple act of making his tea. Returning to the table he once again sat and waited.

Five minutes passed. Nothing. Ten minutes, still nothing. Kurt was beginning to feel more nervous than before. He checked the time on the stove. 7:11. With a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, Kurt began to assume the worst. He had lost the courage to come over, hadn't he? He was scared, wasn't he? Kurt sighed, finishing his tea and placing the mug in the sink. He was about to sit down again when he heard the doorbell ring. Almost sprinting to the door, he got there in record time. Pausing for a moment to straighten out his hair and smooth out his clothing, he opened the door. Finn stood on the other side, a black backpack slung over his left shoulder. He was wearing a light blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up over a black t-shirt, with a pair of dark jeans. Finn smiled nervously at Kurt. Kurt thought it was the most adorable thing he had seen all day.

"Finn." Kurt said softly. "Hi." The nerves were evident in his voice, but Finn didn't seem to notice – perhaps he was too nervous himself to hear the way Kurt's voice shook, even on those two simple syllables.

"Hey, Kurt." Finn said, smiling at him again, a more confident smile than before, and Kurt couldn't help but smile back.

"Come on in." Kurt said, stepping back to allow Finn to walk through the door. As Finn removed his shoes, Kurt closed the door behind them. They stood there in silence for a few seconds, unsure of what to do next. They had spent numerous evenings together in the past, yet here they were, more awkward than ever.

"So." Kurt said, biting his lip slightly.

"So…" Finn replied, stepping closer to Kurt. Kurt's breath hitched in his throat as Finn grabbed his hand. Smiling Finn leaned down to place a soft kiss on Kurt's lips. They stayed like that for a moment before Finn pulled back just as abruptly. He flashed a small smile at Kurt, and Kurt returned it bashfully. "What's the, uh… Plan for tonight?" Finn asked, and Kurt's cheeks flushed slightly.

"Well, I thought we could go downstairs… To watch a movie or something?" Kurt said, questioning himself more than Finn. Finn nodded, and the two descended the stairs together. Kurt led the way to his "room", which consisted of the better part of the basement, and walked with Finn to the area where his TV and couch were. "What do you want to watch?" Kurt asked Finn as he sat on the couch.

Finn just shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. You pick this time." He said with a smile.

Kurt nodded, flicking through his extensive DVD collection. He stopped, picking up the case for Moulin Rouge. They had watched it once a few months back, and to both of their surprise, Finn had actually quite enjoyed it. Popping the disc into the DVD player, Kurt joined Finn on the couch. He felt an arm wrap around his shoulders, and Finn pulled him close to rest against his side.

An hour later, they were seated in approximately the same position, Kurt beginning to feel slightly restless. He looked up at Finn, who, feeling Kurt move, had looked down to see what was going on.

"What's up, Kurt?" He asked, and Kurt sighed lightly.

"I sort of don't want to keep watching this. I mean, I love the movie and all, but… I'm just not really in the mood to watch it tonight, I guess." Kurt replied, chuckling lightly.

"You too?" Finn said, and Kurt nodded.

"Yeah. Do you want to turn it off?"

Finn nodded, and pulled his arm back from around Kurt's shoulders. "How about you put it away while I go upstairs – I have to go get something."

Kurt nodded slowly, slightly confused. He was curious what Finn was going upstairs for, but shrugged it off. After putting putting the DVD away, he sat back down on the couch, folding his hands on his lap and waited.

Finally, Kurt could hear footsteps coming down the stairs. He turned around in time to see Finn enter the room, two wine glasses in hand. Kurt's brow furrowed. He opened his mouth to ask what the glasses were for, but Finn gestured to wait. Placing the glasses on the coffee table, a soft 'clink' sounding on contact, Finn moved to where his backpack was. Unzipping it he dug around a few moments before emerging with a bottle of what appeared to be red wine.

"I managed to sneak it out of my mom's cellar. There were a few others in there, so I don't think this one will be missed. I thought it could be… you know… romantic."

Kurt's expression relaxed at that, changing from confusion to a bright smile. "Finn, you shouldn't have… What if your mom finds out?" He said, a hint of laughter in his voice.

"She won't. And even if she does, she probably won't care anyway. She's pretty cool about stuff like that." Finn said, sloshing the bottle of wine as he spoke. He reached down to pull a corkscrew out of his backpack, quickly removing the cork from the neck of the bottle. "Have you ever had wine before?" Finn asked.

"Sips of it, yes." Kurt replied as Finn sat beside him and picked up one of the glasses on the table, pouring some of the red liquid into it. He handed it to Kurt, who nodded in thanks. He sniffed the liquid – the scent was very potent, and he didn't quite expect it.

"Cheers." Finn said, holding his own glass up for Kurt to clink. He did so, and they both took a sip. Kurt spluttered slightly, not quite used to the taste. Finn laughed, patting him on the back lightly. "You okay?" He asked, and Kurt nodded, eyes watering.

"Yeah," He choked out, a small laugh escaping his lips. "I guess I'm just not used to the stuff."

"That's okay." Finn said, chuckling slightly at Kurt. "You don't have to drink it if you don't like it."

"No, it's fine. It just takes a while to get used to." Kurt took another sip, devoid of choking and hacking this time around, and found it to taste fairly good. Finn chuckled at him again, and took a sip from his own glass. Kurt watched as he leaned against the armrest, feeling a pair of muscular arms wrap around him, pulling him up to rest his back against Finn's chest. Finn knew that was one of Kurt's favourite cuddling positions, and Kurt knew it was one of Finn's as well. A small giggle emanated from Kurt as Finn placed a soft kiss on his neck. His lips lingered there for a second before he bit gently at the skin in front of him. Kurt's eyes widened at that, the realisation of what was sure to come soon finally hitting him. He froze, and Finn noticed.

"Kurt?" He said, sliding Kurt off of his lap and sitting so he was facing him. "What's wrong?"

Kurt took in a shaky breath. "I… I'm nervous. About… Well, _that_." He whispered, staring at his hands. He felt fingers gently grasp his chin and pull so that he was soon looking directly into Finn's eyes.

"Don't worry, Kurt – I'm nervous, too. I mean… I-I've never done anything like this before either, and to be honest, I'm terrified. But… It's okay to be scared." Finn said, finishing with a soft smile. Kurt's face broke into a shy grin, and he looked back down at his hands. He felt Finn grab onto his hand, and gently pull until he was back on Finn's lap, this time facing each other. Finn slid down the couch until they were lying down, Kurt on top of Finn's chest. Kurt snuggled into a more comfortable position, draping an arm across Finn's chest and reaching to grab his abandoned wine glass from the coffee table.

"We can wait for a while, if you want." Finn said, resting his hand on the small of Kurt's back. "Just lie here for a while. If that's alright with you, I mean."

"That'd be great." Kurt said, and awkwardly took another sip of wine. They lay there for a few minutes, just cuddling and drinking wine in a comfortable silence. Still, inside, Kurt's brain was racing at a mile a minute. He wanted this, _so_ badly, yet he was terrified of the actual deed. He loved Finn terribly, but that didn't mean he still wasn't scared. He took another drink, coming to the end of his glass, and noticing the warm feeling spreading across his face. Oh, he was definitely far from being drunk, but he could still feel the effects of the wine setting in.

"Thank you for the wine, Finn. It's lovely." Kurt said, turning to look up at Finn, resting his head on his free arm.

"Oh, you're welcome." Finn said, smiling one of his dopey-looking half smiles. "I'm just glad you liked it. I was a little worried… I didn't know whether or not you liked wine. Or even just alcohol."

Kurt chuckled slightly. "You obviously never heard about my run-in with alcohol back when April was in Glee, then."

Finn raised an eyebrow at him. "I drank a bottle of vodka before school one day, and then ran into Miss Pillsbury in the halls before third period. The encounter didn't exactly end on a good note. Suffice to say, those shoes of her were never the same again." Kurt finished with a small laugh, and Finn raised his eyebrows, a chuckle escaping his lips. "So, for future reference… Yes, I do like alcohol. In small doses, at least."

Finn shook his head, laughing louder than before this time. "I seriously can't imagine you drunk, Kurt." He said. Leaning over to kiss Kurt's nose, he smirked. "But I wanna see that one day."

"I hope you don't." Kurt said, laughing. "That was _not_ one of my better moments. I was a mess, and my clothes were a disaster. If you ever see me like that, please, shoot me."

"It's fine with me. I like it when you're a little… mussed up." Finn said with a wink. Kurt blushed, and swatted Finn's arm with his free hand. Finn laughed, and noticed Kurt's empty wine glass. "Hey, you want some more wine?" He asked. Kurt nodded, and Finn sat up slightly, grabbing Kurt's wine glass from his slack grip. He grabbed the bottle form off of the coffee table and filled the glass up. Handing the now full glass to Kurt, Kurt said a quiet "thank you" as he accepted it. They resumed their original position, Kurt's face slightly more flushed than normal due to current circumstances. Finn began slowly rubbing Kurt's back, and Kurt smiled to himself, just enjoying the moment.

"I really love this." Kurt said softly. "Just lying here with you. It's one of my favourite things to do, you know."

"It is?" Finn said, and Kurt nodded almost imperceptibly.

"It is." He whispered, aimlessly tracing slow circles on Finn's chest with his free hand. Then, with a sudden burst of confidence, Kurt leaned over to place his wine glass on the table, sliding up to get closer to Finn's face.

"You want to know what one of my other favourite things is?" Kurt asked. Finn nodded. Kurt leaned in, his face pausing inches away from Finn's. "This." He whispered, closing the distance between them, his lips gently grazing Finn's before pulling back slightly to look at the boy beneath him. Finn stared back for a second, before pulling Kurt's face back to his own, pressing their lips together harder than before, need evident in the kiss. Kurt's eyes shut tightly, his hands coming to rest on Finn's chest. He felt fingers gently tangle themselves in his hair, grasping at the strands as the kiss deepened. Kurt ran his tongue lightly across Finn's lips, and they parted slightly, allowing the smaller boy access. Kurt slipped his tongue in, exploring Finn's mouth tentatively.

It was when Kurt felt a hand slip under his shirt to run up his back that all confidence and adrenaline left his body in a rush of reality. He involuntarily pulled away, sitting up with wide eyes.

"Kurt?" Finn gasped, shocked at the sudden loss of contact. Seeing Kurt's expression, Finn understood what was going on. "Oh, God, I'm sorry, Kurt. I didn't mean… We can stop if you want…"

Kurt held up his hand, shaking his head. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and opened them, staring at Finn with a look of pure determination in his eyes.

"No." Kurt said, shaking his head again. "I want this. I _need_ this." He inhaled deeply, and exhaled loudly. "I need _you_, Finn."

Kurt watched as Finn's face changed from worried nervousness to nervous happiness. Finn grasped Kurt's hand as he began to speak. "Okay. As long as you're sure…"

"I'm sure, Finn." Kurt reassured him. "Just… could we do this anywhere _but_ the couch? I mean, nothing wrong with the couch or anything, but…"

"It's okay." Finn interrupted, silencing Kurt. He stood up, offering his hand to Kurt, who took it gratefully. "You don't have to explain yourself. I understand. Plus, the couch would be sorta uncomfortable anyways." He said, a slightly awkward laugh following it. "So… would the bed work alright?"

"Yeah." Kurt said quickly, staring up at Finn, his pulse quickening in anticipation as they stood there. Neither seemed to be able to move at that precise moment, so they settled for standing there. Finally, Finn made the first move. Feeling gentle hands grasp Kurt's hips, he was pulled closer to Finn until their lips were inches apart, and he closed the distance between them. Kurt could feel Finn hesitating, as if scared to be a little rougher, a little more intimate. Attempting to elicit a more powerful reaction from Finn, Kurt wrapped his arms around the taller boy's shoulders, standing up a bit taller to fully reach Finn's mouth and deepen the kiss. Kurt could feel hands come to rest on his lower back, and those hands then began to play with the bottom of his shirt.

Soon, their kisses became more erratic, more urgent, Kurt definitely getting the reaction he'd wanted from Finn. One of Kurt's hands began to trail its way down from his shoulders to rest once more on his chest, the other grasping gently at the hair on the back of Finn's head. Groaning, Finn slammed Kurt against the nearest wall, eliciting a small gasp of pain form the smaller boy, which Finn, otherwise occupied, failed to notice. Kurt felt Finn's lips leave his mouth, trailing along his jaw and down towards his neck. Kurt's eyebrows knit together at this. The kisses felt fine enough, obviously, but they were a bit sloppier than usual, more rushed and… Well, Kurt couldn't quite put his finger on what was wrong. Pushing the thought out of his mind, he leaned his head back, trying to give Finn better access to the area he was currently focusing on. Kurt felt Finn begin to suck gently at the hollow of his neck, and his eyes fluttered shut. _That_ was more like it.

Warm hands ran themselves up Kurt's side, causing his Dolce and Gabbana shirt to rise up. A fleeting thought of his clothes being ruined ripped through his mind, but he ignored it, much more important things taking precedence. Standing up to his full height, Finn grabbed onto the hem of Kurt's shirt, smiling reassuringly as he began to tug it off of him. Kurt raised his arms, feeling as the shirt was carefully pulled up – Finn was obviously taking Kurt's obsession with the meticulous upkeep of his clothing into consideration as he peeled the article of clothing off the boy. On the way up, though, the shirt became stuck around Kurt's head, staying there as the rest of the shirt continued its journey upwards.

"Ow, Finn, stop, my shirt is stuck." Kurt said, his voice muffled by the fabric encasing his face at the moment. A pair of hands began to pull the fabric away from his head, getting it unstuck and pulling it up to free Kurt, only to see a smirking Finn standing in front of him.

"Your hair is a mess." Finn said, and Kurt raised an eyebrow at Finn as if to say 'You're not getting in my pants _that_ way.' Finn just laughed off Kurt's look. "You look cute."

"Yeah, whatever." Kurt said, rolling his eyes. Finn chuckled, and placed a hand back on Kurt's hip, slowly sliding it around to Kurt's back, tracing his spine with a feather-light touch. Feeling a slight pull on his back, Kurt was led by Finn through Kurt's bedroom door. Kurt walked with Finn towards his bed, his legs already starting to shake. They stopped near the foot of the bed, both slightly unsure of what exactly to do next Breathing deeply, Kurt made is way over to the edge of the bed, sitting on the covers, patting the space next to him as an invitation for Finn to join him. Finn crossed the distance, gently sitting next to him. They stared at each other, Kurt exhaling shakily before leaning in to kiss Finn once more. Reaching for Finn with shaking hands, nervous, his stomach flipped. Suddenly he found himself lying flat on his back, Finn pressed against him, pinning him down.

Finn reached out a tentative hand, cupping Kurt's cheek, and he leaned into the touch. Smiling reassuringly, he leaned down, capturing Kurt's lips, his tongue requesting entrance. Kurt moaned, his mouth opening to Finn's questing tongue, both dueling for control. They broke, panting, and Kurt tugged at the buttons of Finn's shirt impatiently. He undid them, pulling it and the undershirt off, tossing them into the corner. Immediately, Finn returned to Kurt's lips, kneading them roughly with his own. He nibbled on Kurt's bottom lip, another moan escaping the smaller boy.

Finn's mouth quickly began to stray from Kurt's, planting rough kisses down his neck and to his shoulders as a hand slid its way down to his hips. Kurt's heart began to race – he felt fingers tugging at his belt, slipping the strip of leather out of the loops of Kurt's jeans and tossing it on the floor with his own shirt. Kurt sat up, pushing Finn into a sitting position as well and plopping himself down on his lap, fumbling with the buttons on Finn's pants, hands shaking furiously. He bit his lip, brow furrowing in frustration as Finn's pants refused to comply with him.

"Kurt," He heard Finn say, and felt two hands grab his wrists, halting his current attempts at ripping the buttons clear off Finn's jeans. He looked up, into warm brown eyes and a face currently smirking at him. "Need some help?" He said, and Kurt shook his head.

"No, I think I've got it… Just, aha – there we go." He said, finally undoing the offending buttons in front of him and smiling smugly at Finn. Hands shaking, he hooked his fingers into the belt loops of Finn's jeans and began to tug them down his legs exposing a large bulge in Finn's underwear. As the pants were quickly disposed of, Finn pulled Kurt back up to lie on the bed next to him. Kurt felt Finn's lips press against his own. Kurt grasped the back of Finn's head with his tiny hands, drawing the face closer to himself. His actions made him seem sure in what was going on, but still, no matter what, Kurt couldn't keep himself from trembling nervously. At least he wasn't the only one, though – He could feel the occasional fumble or slip from Finn that gave away his confident façade.

Finn rotated his hips, and Kurt could definitely feel a bulge grinding against his thigh as he did so. Finn slid down Kurt's small frame, planting the occasional kiss on his torso as he continued his journey. He stopped at Kurt's hips, leaving one last soft kiss on Kurt's stomach before sliding his pants off, kissing each new inch of skin he uncovered. Kurt lifted his hips, and Finn slid back up his body, attacking his neck with his lips again.

"Kurt," he heard Finn moan into his neck, and Kurt's head automatically leaned back in response.

"Yes, Finn?" Kurt replied breathily, burying his fingers in Finn's hair and tugging gently.

"I can't…" He sighed needily, nibbling at Kurt's earlobe. "No more waiting. I need you. _Now_."

Kurt's eyes widened – he'd never heard that much raw need in his boyfriend's voice before. He had to admit, he really liked that new side of Finn. Finn seemed to take Kurt's silence as an agreement with his earlier statement, because soon he had Kurt pulled up again so that they were sitting, staring at each other and catching their breath. They instinctually moved closer together, Finn pulling Kurt back onto his lap, and the smaller boy soon had a pair of lips pressed firmly against his own. Finn kissed him hard, and soon both boys were fighting to get the other's last article of clothing off first. Kurt felt a hand slide under the waistband of his boxers, and he gasped softly as Finn's hand brushed against his erection. His hips bucked slightly as Finn's hand cautiously wrapped around him, and he allowed his head to drop back, eyes fluttering shut and hands gripping Finn's shoulders tightly. Kurt felt Finn run his hand up and down him experimentally, and let out a guttural moan, a sound even he himself never knew he could make. Finn grinned at him, and before Kurt knew it, his boxers were yanked down and discarded. No one had ever seen him completely naked before, and Kurt knew Finn could see the blush currently spreading across his face (he internally sighed; if there was one thing that he wished he could change about himself, it would be his uncontrollable blushing), but aside from the embarrassment, Kurt felt both aroused and vulnerable. Finn stared at Kurt, and there was something new in his eyes that Kurt couldn't quite put his finger on. Suddenly, Finn's hands ran down his sides, coming to rest on his hips as he pulled him closer, sitting the smaller boy on his lap. Kurt leaned towards Finn, touching their lips together gently as he wrapped his arms around Finn's shoulders.

"Finn," Kurt whispered, and Finn nodded.

"Mmm?" He said, sucking at Kurt's collarbone as he talked.

"I… I'm ready." Kurt said, quieter than before, and Finn looked up.

"Really?" Finn said, and even if Kurt hadn't have been ready, he wasn't sure he'd be able to say no to the sight in front of him – Finn's eyes had lit up at this, and the stupid grin he had on his face was the epitome of adorable. Kurt let out a small, almost inaudible laugh, and nodded. Finn's smile only grew bigger at that, only to be replaced with confusion as Kurt reached for his nightstand beside the bed.

"Uh, Kurt… What are you doing?" Finn asked as Kurt began to dig in the top drawer.

Kurt came back with a small bottle of lube and a condom. "Oh. Right." He said, smiling that dopey smile of his that Kurt loved so much.

Finn grabbed onto Kurt's hand, slipping the bottle out of his grasp. "It might make more sense for me to have that right now than you." Finn said, tossing the bottle beside him on the bed and moving Kurt so that he was once again on his back. He felt as Finn shifted above him, and heard the dull thud of clothing hitting the ground, signifying that both boys were now completely naked. Finn planted a kiss on Kurt's lips, before pulling away and pausing for a minute.

"Kurt... I'm not exactly used to this, you know. I mean, I... well, I've never done anything like this before – I mean, I've told you that already, haven't I? - and I know you haven't done this either, but..."

Kurt stared at Finn, eyebrow raised and smirk present on his features. He placed a finger on Finn's lips to shut him up. "You're rambling." He said. "What are you getting at?"

He paused, shaking his head and laughing slightly. "I just don't want to screw this up."

"You won't."

"But if I do-"

"You won't." Kurt reiterated.

"-I'm sorry." Finn finished, and Kurt nodded.

"Stop worrying, okay?" He said, rubbing Finn's shoulder comfortingly. He laughed. "You know, it's like we've changed places now, isn't it?"

"Yeah," Finn said, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips. They remained like that, completely silent, until Kurt spoke.

"So we're really doing this, then." He said. It wasn't really a question so much as a statement. Finn nodded, and grabbed Kurt's wrists, holding his hands up by his head and kissing him. Kurt attacked Finn's lips with a hunger previously unknown to himself, and soon his tongue had battled its way into Finn's mouth, causing the boy above him to moan in pleasure. Kurt felt as Finn grasped his wrists with just one hand, the other one sliding down his arm before finding its spot on his cheek, cupping it as they kissed. Kurt wriggled his body into a more comfortable position – it was a bit difficult to breathe with someone as big as Finn lying on someone as small as Kurt – and suddenly, Finn's hand let go of Kurt's, instead deciding to rest on both sides of Kurt's neck, rubbing circles there with his thumbs as they kissed.

"I... I'm not exactly sure what to do now." Finn whispered, his hands beginning their journey downwards of their own accord. "I mean, do we do it this way, or..."

"Well," Kurt whispered back, hands beginning to rub Finn's shoulders gently as he spoke. "I did a bit of... research on the subject, and I read somewhere that, for the first time, it's much easier to manoeuvre it if you, you know... Get behind me?" Kurt said, the last bit of his sentence coming out as more of a question as he saw the look on Finn's face – the look he got in the middle of Spanish class when Mr. Schue attempted to explain the difference between regular and irregular verbs to him. He would have to elaborate. "You know what I mean, Finn... Sort of like..." He sighed. He hated this term for it. "Sort of like doggy style."

Understanding finally filtered through to Finn's features, and Kurt thought he could see a hint of a blush creep up on his face as he processed what had been said.

"Oh." He said, the blush completely obvious at that point in time. He sat up, and started to... Well, Kurt wasn't exactly sure of what Finn was doing, and he wasn't sure that Finn himself knew what he was doing. He placed his hands on either side of Kurt's hips, tugged gently, and stared down at Kurt for a moment before he stopped, going back to his original position, and furrowing his brow.

"Finn? What _are_ you doing?" Kurt asked him, and the look of confusion on Finn's face grew stronger.

"Well, don't I have to flip you over or something for this to work?"

Kurt couldn't help but laugh at the completely candid way in which Finn had phrased his concerns, and shook his head. "_You_ don't have to flip me over – I _can_ do that myself, you know."

"I guess you can..." Finn said, as if he had come to this huge realization with that. Kurt nodded and sat up, giving Finn a look that expressed exactly how scared and nervous he was without even meaning to. He slowly turned so that his back was facing Finn. His body began to shake violently, causing Finn to let out a quiet moan. Latching onto the tender skin at the base of his neck, Finn wrapped his arms around Kurt's tiny torso. Kurt felt Finn's erection press against him, making him gasp at the new sensation rushing through his body. Finn placed a gentle kiss between Kurt's shoulder blades, and his hands slid down to rest on Kurt's hips, fingers clutching them. Kurt could feel Finn s movements become rougher, felt as he started to lose a bit of control. Suddenly, Kurt felt a pressure on his back, and a gentle shove caused him to fall forward onto his hands and knees. He inhaled sharply on contact, not from any pain, but just from pure shock at the sudden motion. He felt Finn cup his ass gently, soft lips pressing against the small of his back.

"Kurt... You are so gorgeous..." Finn mumbled against his back. "So sexy...

Kurt was flattered at that, although he was a bit preoccupied at the moment with just trying to keep his body from shaking too badly. Finn seemed not to notice, though, and Kurt could tell he was more interested in the task at hand. He squeezed Kurt s ass, a little harder than was probably intended, and Kurt bit his lip. He was unsure whether the sensation was enjoyable or not - but eventually, he decided that, albeit slightly on the rough side, the feel of Finn s hands touching him like that was quite a turn on.

Finn seemed to be acting on instinct more than anything then, his hands sliding down to rest on Kurt s thighs as he reached to bite at the nape of Kurt s neck. Kurt felt one of Finn s hands leave his thigh, and heard the sound of a wrapper being ripped open, along with the telltale click of a bottle being opened. He took a shuddering breath, attempting to calm his steadily rising nerves as he waited. Nothing happened for a few moments, other than a bit of movement from Finn behind him. Kurt was curious as to what was taking Finn so long, and he was beginning to feel somewhat impatient.

Then, without warning, Finn slid into Kurt, gripping his thighs tightly as he did so.

Kurt's breath hitched in his throat, and it took all his willpower to not cry out in pain.

Something was wrong. It had to be. There was no way that it was supposed to hurt that much. Something just had to be wrong... Although, he _had_ heard it was supposed to hurt quite a bit the first time… Was that it? Was that why it currently hurt like hell? That had to be it. It was just that he had to get used to this. That was it.

He knew that his explanations for the pain were wrong the moment Finn started thrusting in and out of him, clearly not feeling the same sensations Kurt seemed to be feeling. With every thrust, Kurt was met with a singularly agonizing feeling, a burning that he couldn't describe. He shifted under Finn slightly, to see if it alleviated the pain any, but it only proved to make matters worse. A small whimper begrudgingly left his lips, but it seemed to go unnoticed by Finn - either that or it was mistaken for an expression of pleasure. Finn began pumping faster, completely oblivious to the obvious discomfort of the smaller boy underneath him.

"Oh, God, Kurt... " Kurt heard Finn groan above him, and felt the grip on his thighs tighten again. Kurt winced, biting his lip and squeezing his eyes shut, willing the pain to stop already.

Finn slammed into Kurt again, making him emit a small, painful whine as he began to feel stretched close to breaking point. Tears welled up in his eyes, threatening to fall, and he attempted to hold them in – He didn't want Finn to see him cry. Although, even if Kurt had been crying, Finn probably wouldn't have noticed – too caught up in the pleasure of what he was doing, the fact that Kurt was not exactly having a good time didn't seem to register. Instead, he thoughtlessly went on, ignoring what Kurt was going through.

On the other hand, it was quite difficult for Kurt to ignore what he was feeling, to pretend that what was happening _wasn't_ causing him incredible pain. Nearly impossible to do so, as he soon figured out. He couldn't believe that this was actually how his first time was panning out – he had always imagined it to be perfect, full of gentle caresses and whispered "I love you"s, not the rough, inexperienced situation he was currently in. He could feel himself shutting down, figuring that if he couldn't enjoy what was going on, then he could at least endure it until it was over.

Finn groaned again. "Think of the mail... think of the mail..." He repeated, saying it to himself like a mantra. His movements became more erratic, and Kurt assumed he was getting close. God, he hoped he was getting close. Finn's hands slid up his thighs to grab his hips, using them to bury himself deeper in Kurt. "Kurt... I... I'm gonna..." Finn said, voice low and barely audible. Kurt bowed his head, willing himself to make it through these last few seconds. _It's almost over, Kurt_, he told himself. _Almost over..._

He felt Finn give a few last rough thrusts, before finally giving into the obvious pleasure he was feeling. The hands he had on Kurt's hips squeezed like a vice, and all of his muscles tensed as the orgasm hit. He moaned Kurt's name, biting down on his neck as he gently rode out the last waves of pleasure.

A single tear rolled down Kurt's cheek as Finn just sat there, resting against Kurt. So, that was it, then. It was over. His virginity lost in one of the worst, painful ways he thought possible, with no way to get it back again. Another tear fell, followed by a third one.

Finally, Finn pulled out of Kurt, causing the smaller boy almost as much pain in doing so as he had during the actual sex. He took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. Kurt could practically hear the smile on his face in his sigh. Still shaking slightly, although this time from pain instead of nerves, Kurt lowered himself onto the bed, closing his eyes and trying to block out the violent throbbing. He felt Finn flop down beside him, the movement causing his already sore and exhausted body to hurt just that tiny bit more, and heard Finn sigh again.

"Wow." He breathed, and Kurt could tell he was still grinning. At least someone was happy. "Just... Wow." He repeated. Kurt could feel him turn onto his side to face him, and he squeezed his eyes shut once more – couldn't Finn just have the common courtesy to _stop moving?_ An arm snaked around his waist gently, and Finn pressed up against Kurt, face resting against his shoulder. "Kurt, that was amazing! I... I've never felt anything like that! I mean, you... you were..." He paused, breathing out a small laugh. Kurt felt his body shiver involuntarily at that – after what he had just gone through, having someone so close to him again was a little much.

"Yeah, it was great." He said, in what he hoped was his most convincing tone of voice. Finn seemed to buy it, because he just snuggled in closer to Kurt, planting a soft kiss on the boy's shoulder. Then, there was nothing but silence. Silence, until an unexpected sob escaped past Kurt's guard, his chest shuddering with the effort of trying to hold it back. He failed, and his eyes involuntarily squeezed shut. _Nice inconspicuousness,_ he thought to himself.

He felt as Finn's head shifted on his shoulder, obviously having noticed Kurt's little hiccup. "Kurt? You alright?" He asked, concern in his voice.

"Me?" Kurt said, voice thick with tears. "I'm fine."

Kurt felt as Finn's head shifted against his shoulder, obviously attempting to get a better look at Kurt. "You sure? You don't exactly sound alright..."

"I'm _fine._" Kurt snapped, although the effect of his statement was slightly ruined by the tears cascading down his cheeks. Finn sat up a bit more, this time getting a good look at Kurt's face.

"Kurt, you're crying." Finn said. "What's wrong?"

Kurt took a shaky breath, trying to look away from Finn. "Nothing." He muttered, wiping at his face with the back of his hand. He hated being vulnerable like this, letting himself fall apart in front of someone else. He heard a sigh, and felt as Finn slowly drew Kurt up into a sitting position. A sharp intake of breath slipped through Kurt's teeth at the sudden movement.

"Why are you lying to me?" Finn said, making Kurt look at him by placing a hand on his cheek. Kurt avoided his gaze, his tear-filled eyes trying to look at anything but Finn.

"I..." He stammered out, trying to think of something, _anything _to say. Finally looking up into Finn's eyes, he saw the concern and confusion in them, and felt as the tears brimming in his eyes finally spilled over. He tried to choke out a few words, but his brain couldn't get his mouth to work properly. Instead, a strangled sound escaped, and nothing more.

Suddenly, arms wrapped around Kurt's waist, gently pulling him forward. He fell into Finn's lap, an unintentional squeak escaping his lips as he did so. "Shhhh." Finn whispered, and one of his hands began to rub Kurt's back, the other stroking his hair, obviously trying to calm the half-hysterical boy. Kurt, sick of trying to hold everything back, just let himself cry, the tears rolling silently down his cheeks. He sniffled, and Finn looked down at him. He opened his mouth to say something, but he stopped, staring at something behind Kurt.

"Are... are you sure you're fine?" Finn said shakily, and if Kurt had been in a better mood, he would have laughed. He wasn't, though, and instead he found himself snapping once more at Finn.

"Oh, of course I'm fine, Finn. I know that the first thing you assume when you see tears streaming down someone's face is that they're fine. Very perceptive, Finn."

"But, Kurt, it's just-"

"No, Finn." Kurt said, failing at keeping the tears out of his voice. "I'm not okay. Obviously I'm not okay. Do I _look_ like someone who's okay?"

"Kurt," Finn said, finally moving to point at something on the bed behind him. "You're bleeding."

Kurt's eyes widened, and he turned to look at the place on the bed that Finn's finger was indicating. Sure enough, there was a small scarlet patch marring the otherwise immaculate white sheets. He turned to look back at Finn, whose eyes mirrored Kurt's, open wide as the cogs in his brain began to work.

"Oh god..." He said, obviously finally understanding just what he had done to put Kurt in such a foul mood. "Oh my god, Kurt, I... Oh god, shit!" He said, getting up off the bed and standing beside it. "I-I..." He stammered, looking around for a second before moving back to the bed, scooping Kurt up in his arms and making his way through the room. Kurt was a little surprised by his sudden actions, and it took a few seconds before his brain finally caught up with what his body was doing. When he did, he felt his arms involuntarily wrap their way around Finn's neck as he buried his face in his chest. It was comforting – Finn was so much bigger than him, and it had always made him feel safe, protected. But this time, that feeling was slightly tainted.

Kurt clung close out of instinct as Finn used his shoulder to open a door and the smells that assailed him told him they were in the bathroom-no other room smelled so strongly of shampoo and skin care products. He opened his eyes, but the familiar sight did nothing to assuage his feelings

Finn walked over to the shower in the corner of the room, carefully putting Kurt down on the tile in front of it. Kurt's legs wobbled slightly at the sudden need to hold his own weight, but he steadied himself before he fell. Finn grabbed onto Kurt's hips, noticing his little stumble, and with one hand, opened the door to the shower and led Kurt into the stall. Kurt just let him do so, and soon he was standing under a stream of hot water, staring down at his and Finn's feet as the water sprayed onto the back of his head.

Kurt saw Finn's feet move as he turned around to grab one of the many bottles of product on the shelf behind him. Kurt heard the click of a bottle being opened, and before he knew it Finn's hands were massaging his favourite shampoo into his hair. The soft strawberry scent wafted through the air, and, coupled with the gentle massaging of Finn's hands on his scalp, it served to cause a bit of the tension in Kurt's shoulders to ease up. Then, Finn turned around once more, grabbing another bottle and a scrubbie, pouring some of the contents of the bottle onto it. Then, taking hold of Kurt's hand, he began to carefully scrub his arm with the body wash. He moved on to the next one, then his shoulders and his neck. Kurt could hear Finn whispering something quietly, and he strained his ears to hear.

"I'm sorry, oh god, I'm so sorry..."

He could barely hear Finn's quiet mantra over the spray of the water – he wasn't even sure if Finn _wanted _him to hear it – but it was there. Finn just kept repeating his words sporadically, moving down to scrub Kurt's stomach.

Eventually, Finn moved down to Kurt's legs, and Kurt heard him let out a sharp intake of breath and a muttered 'fuck', feeling his fingers trace along the upper part of the back of his thigh. Kurt looked down to see Finn drawing his fingers closer to his face to see, and he could see the lightest traces of red on his fingertips, a barely-there sign of blood. Finn stood up suddenly, grabbing the removable showerhead from off the wall and beginning to gently rinse all the soap off of Kurt's small body. He ran his fingers through Kurt's hair, ridding the brown locks of any leftover suds, and took special care to wash away any remnants of blood on him. Within seconds, Kurt was standing there, completely soap-free and clean, and attempting to look at anything except for Finn's eyes, which he could tell, from the one quick glance he'd taken at them, were full of concern.

"Kurt..." Finn said, forcing Kurt to look up at him by placing his hands on either side of his face and gently turning it towards him. Kurt didn't meet Finn's eyes, instead deciding that the floor was much more interesting to analyze. "Kurt, please look at me." Finn said, and that was what broke Kurt – Finn's voice was laced with pure concern for Kurt, and it caused his eyes to finally look up and lock with Finn's. They stood there in silence for a minute, the only sounds being the sound of water hitting the shower floor, and Finn finally broke the silence.

"Why'd you lie when I asked if you were okay, Kurt?"

"Because you're an oblivious ass." Kurt said, the words spewing from his mouth before he could even think of what he was saying. He surprised himself – He hadn't thought he was that angry with Finn, but apparently his mouth thought he was. Finn stared at him, furrowing his brow.

"I... take it that isn't a compliment?" he asked, and Kurt shook his head.

"No, it isn't, Finn." Kurt said, a stray sniffle escaping from his nose as he replied.

"God, Kurt, I'm so sorry... I mean, I didn't even notice that you were... You know..." Finn said, trailing off.

"Case in point."

Finn sighed, running a hand through his hair, unsure of what to do. "I really didn't mean for it to happen like this, Kurt... I'm _so_ sorry-"

"So you've said." Kurt interrupted, voice steady despite the tears beginning to well in his eyes once more."Well, Finn, even though you didn't_ mean_ for it to happen like that, it did, and that's what matters."

"Kurt, would you shut up and just listen to me for a minute? I'm trying to say I'm sorry, and all you can do is get angry at me!" Finn said, slightly exasperated, before he calmed down a bit and continued. "I mean, not that you don't have a right to be angry, but could you at least hear me out here?"

Kurt sighed, and looked up at Finn, the venom in his voice that had previously been there dissipating completely as he spoke. Instead, he just sounded tired. "Fine. But this had better be good."

Finn nodded. He grabbed onto Kurt's hand, linking their fingers as he spoke. "Kurt, why didn't you tell me I was hurting you? I mean, if I'd known what I was doing to you, I would have stopped, instead of just going on like I did..."

"I didn't tell you," He began, his voice wavering slightly through the fresh wave of tears threatening to fall once more. "Because you seemed to be enjoying it so much, and I didn't want to stop you... I thought you might be angry or something..."

Finn laughed in disbelief. "That's stupid, Kurt. Why would I get angry at you for something like that? If you were in pain, you should have just told me... Instead of letting me do _this_ to you..." Finn said, gesturing to Kurt in general.

"Well… I just didn't want you to think I was..." He began, but trailed off. He thought of how he could finish that sentence. Weak? Childish? Not ready? There were just so many answers Kurt could have given, but none seemed appropriate, so instead, he stuck to staying silent. Finn didn't seem to know what to say either, so instead, he pulled Kurt into a hug, rubbing circles against his back and resting his chin on the top of Kurt's head. Kurt sat there awkwardly for a second, before burying his face into the hollow of Finn's neck and wrapping his own arms around the taller boy's waist.

"Kurt," Finn began to mutter into Kurt's hair. "Next time, if I'm hurting you, or if you're uncomfortable, or if anything is wrong... just tell me, alright? I won't get angry or mad or anything like that. Okay?"

Kurt nodded – any answer would have been muffled by Finn's neck – and remained with Finn, shivering a little-most showers were never built to accommodate more than one person and while this one was a bit fancier than usual, the spray couldn't comfortably cover more than one person. Still, the sounds of water hitting bare flesh and dripping onto the tiles was somewhat soothing. Kurt relaxed a little, shifting to place the back of his head against Finn's neck, though his grip didn't slacken. He wasn't sure how Finn would take this, but a soft kiss on the top of his head sent the uncertainty back into quiescence.

He felt his anger and sadness draining away and let it go. Finn was there, they were together and he just wanted to experience the moment. There'd be time later to worry about everything else –for now, all was well... until Finn jerked him from his restful state.

"Kurt, can we get out of the shower? I'd stay here, only I really have to take a leak."

Kurt looked up at Finn before his knees buckled and he burst into laughter.

Okay. _Now_ everything was well again.

**Well, thank you for reading this, and reviews are very much appreciated. So if you enjoyed it, please review! Thanks! :D**

**Carly**


End file.
